Swings of a rhapsodic mind

Specs of lightening fill her room and her heart with dread The leaves, she hears them rustle She closes her eyes shut in the hope to walk past the gloom Her pillow helplessly binds my vision But, it's all the same A five year in her has been fighting since decades. She tries to hold onto the belief That all would end like a nightmare But, the thunder in it's ferocious gaze Withers her soul And she sinks back in time She decides to fight no more She stares at the blank walls shadowing her dread And as lightening strikes, she let's her brittle heart break apart The shattering sound within her drowns what the thunder holds!

Those silent whispers untold and unheard Clog those blank spaces I cling by Some day when I look back at those Some day when I only have them as ours Will they still be mine? Will they still echo deep within my heart Will they still revolutionize my world? For, the point in time where I stand, I have them to hold on to. At times I grow tired, Beaten by life Sunk in worries And as I cling to those blank spaces Silence becomes defeaning. But I rise and smile at those memories And I count my life in them.

       (1) I fell for your pain, The hurt in you kept me awake in the dead of the night. What was it thumping hard inside me, I wondered. I could see what you had to let go Could feel each ounce of your pain Yet, I wanted to say it loud I am there, I won't judge, Trust me for once. I would take away your fears. And be there like a lurking shadow But I couldn't be the reason of your hurt. Couldn't be the tears you would shed. So I sealed my thumping heart, As i passed you a smile And I smiled a smile which wasn't one. (2) I hid it deep, deep down somewhere where the light couldn't reach Between the folds of my existence It's sweet vigour kept me alive Yet, I turned it into ice Not letting it melt For I feared I would hurt you beyond repair I run short of words My voice drowns in silence But my heart knows it all You aren't someone different I feel like calling you by my name And yet, words deceive me But I paint my love in silenc...

It was spring in the woods but my heart lay barren The breeze cut my wounds deeper and deeper Youth lured me to its dead fall I wish I had learnt the game while i still could breathe I knew not to live for myself My life was a blessing meant for others But little did I know, i was fated for a timeless death Between existing, counting days and minutes and dying in seconds and hours, I shed my leaves, my fruits inflicted venom And life got carried away It is once again Spring in the woods and my heart is barren They barely see me exist What am i? , I ask myself And the breeze sailing by smirks with disdain You are wood, a plain dead log, it whispers And I gulp my frozen tears And wait for my fated end!

My morning walks take me towards villages with paddy fields on both sides of the road, this is the time of the year when I see the paddy fields barren. The harvest has been cleared off and there are little birds who have made it home. The green of the bamboos have been casting a soothing canopy around and the mango trees have started to flower. The ripe sugarcanes send forth perfumed vigour. This is March and in my country, it marks a period of transition, while i have been packing my winter wear neatly, it's not summer yet to pack my blanket. Just like the last bit of dried patches of skin fraying at the terminal ends beaten by the lack of moisture, I get beaten between the urge to hold on and the necessity to let go. I hold on to the warm memories of winter, my heart flutters at the onset of the short lived spring. I let go off the chill of winter from my heart while I welcome Spring pouring my heart out for all those Bihu songs which vibrate in the air. In midst of all these, I ...

There is a man in the vicinity who in his ordinariness remains an unique being. I often cross paths with him and most of the days I see him carry buckets of water. It seems he has been measuring his life through those water buckets. He is always dressed in tatters but  has those pair of eyes which reflect his innocence. I can see a sufferer in him. I have always wanted to know about him but never could master the courage to confront him, I didn't want him to grow conscious of my presence so I kept on observing him. It's been days of crossing his path on my way to the college and  he has begun to pass on smiles of recognition. He came up to me some days back  and inquired if I wanted to buy "dhekia" ( edible fern) from him and he wanted just five rupees for it. I bought it paying him some amount extra and he thanked me profusely. I could see his eyes twinkle and that filled my heart with a strange sense of satisfaction. I got to know about his story from the villager...

A wail escapes from the bottom of my belly But as I part my lips, it escapes as a frozen breath Speak, the teacher demanded! A throbbing heart, I could hear it ringing deep. The world would trample you in its way, my mother sighed. She could see the bruises of the cane on my palms. Why couldn't you tell the answers when you knew it by heart? she wanted to know. But, Maa I did try..I did , I stammered. My tears choking my half eaten words She pulled me closer, wiped my tears and as she freed my hair from those tightened plaits She spoke of a rule which I was to abide by. You need to win over words, you need to make those words a game Ah I said, I do try but I have to struggle hard They ring in my mind but don't escape my lips She smiled at me and said you need to trust yourself! Ah, I said I would try. And I did try over these years But they still ring in my mind forming loops of their own And the moment I open my lips, they die And I try again from the start ...