Swings of a rhapsodic mind

As a kid, I was fascinated by the world of grown ups. They seemed pretty cool to my eyes. They could ply their vehicles, move around without seeking permissions and get anything they wanted as they had money in their pockets. On the contrary, there I was struggling to choose jelly over butter for breakfast. Well, well maybe I still am a kid trapped in a grown ups body. The last couple of months have been tough, I have had dealt with unseen situations. I tried to fare it well but probably I wasn't taught the requisites to come out strong. I have  abided by a rule book all of my life. Rather than being in a story I had always opted to stay at the periphery. I have lived more anticipating a future rather thank making amends with my present. The past though a lost chapter somehow never leaves my thought process because all of it makes me who I am today and I don't regret any of it. These past months were filled with self revelation. I have finally realised how I have always tried

 I need time for what seems obvious Why? Well, there's no obvious answer. I need time for what seems easy breezy to you , but sigh not to me. Between letting go and holding on, I need time: every time. I try to look at the world like I am supposed to do I try to fit in my parents shoe But as I ponder, I cry out "I need time". To bloom and to return to dust, I need time. Irony being , probably I am running out of time. I know, I become cranky I know, I say "I can't, give me some time" And yet, time that passes begets more time Irony has a disdaining laugh For i chase time to run out of it. But, for now, I am learning to slow down I am learning to unlearn whatever I was fed I am learning to not chase time Probably, I will put it to rest for some time. Next time, probably I won't need more time.