Skip to main content

A note to myself

It wasn't easy, rather it was difficult...

Consider this : You wake up in the dead of the night to some inaudible sound coming from somewhere which you fail to locate and you leap out when that sound breaks into a sob and then into a wail. Right, you run alarmed clueless to find someone you hold dear completely shaken.

What do you do in such situation?  Or probably I should be asking what does one need to do?

Well, meet Mr depression.  Mr depression doesn't come with any prior notice. He just bargs in and leaves you dumbfounded.

Coming back to where I was, what did I do when I found someone whom I held dear in sobs in the dead of the night complaining about life, willing to die and not live. I simply held his hand, stroked it and said let's face it together. I agree, I knew not how painful it was for him but I knew I had to stand by him. I stood and I am still standing. Someone who understood me was right when he told me that I couldn't blame myself for everything that goes wrong. I do get that now. I do.

I am not complaining, rather I am learning to accept people in their worst as well as in their best.

Someday, I won't ever say I am to be blamed, until then let me be a little patient and forgiving.

It wasn't easy to be where I stand today and no matter how difficult, I will pull my pieces together and see a better tomorrow.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reading between the lines

"Read between the lines",  I heard our professor say. We were in midst of a Victorian text. I looked at her point blank. She had spoken about something which I had no clue about. "Ma'am,  would you please elaborate? ",  I tried framing this sentence in my mind but my introverted  self overpowered my inquisitive soul like everytime. I hopelessly waited for an explanation. Ma'am started explaining about how beyond the surface meaning of any written text, there lay a wide plethora of meaning which wasn't explicitly stated. She talked about finding a void between the written words and our imagination, that void which shapes our interpretation. That explanation opened doors to my perception of reading a text. It wasn't that I had never considered about the possibilities of meanings that lay coated in words until then, but, what perhaps I lacked was to look for that void where I questioned the layers of meaning, where I put myself in those layers of wo...
Post a Comment
Read more

What do you want to be?

While I was in my 10th standard, almost everyone I met wanted to know what I wanted to be. This question always perplexed me. From the lens of a fifteen year kid who was not yet sure of the changes which awaited in the near future, this question gave me nightmares. I would constantly sit by the mirror and ask myself, what actually would be my answer. My friends always had fancy answers at their disposal. They would confidently chirp whenever any one asked about it. What amused me most was, my friend who had no inkling to study Biology wanted to be a doctor and another friend who detested the idea of even cooking noodles, wanted to be a chef! But whenever they spoke about their wishes, they would always sound confident. And there I was, fumbling for words which refused to escape my lips. It was not until I entered Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya to do my plus two, I found my voice. The teachers there have a different way of viewing life. For the first time, I no longer felt the classroom...
2 comments
Read more

"My love is enough for both of us"

"My love is enough for both of us", she often felt those words ring in her heart. She finally had understood that life wouldn't always follow her designs. That people are meant to leave but their memories won't. She often had wondered how someone could love her to such an extent when that person had always known that she wouldn't reciprocate those feelings. How could a person stand by her when she always acted as a fleeting shadow. She never had given hope for she knew the pain of dejection but he kept hoping like a hopeless vagabond. How she wished that he would some day hate her enough to let go. She devised ways to free him from this web, she acted cold, turned indifferent, did everything he detested and she finally saw some changes. It was a relief, he finally seemed to take hold of his life. She could see him grow responsible. He finally it seemed was learning to love himself. Phone calls died, meetings subsided, they become known strangers. All this while ...
2 comments
Read more