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A note (ii)

The one thing that I was pretty sure of since childhood was, life wasn't going to be easy. I somehow knew that and accordingly trained myself whenever expectations received a major setback.

There is this thing which I believe in, I have a faith that life won't throw wrong people my way. I am not being sceptical here. I have this notion that whoever I have been associated with till date are and were people who helped me grow and made my life less difficult. They may not know  but had it not for them, I wouldn't have come to believe in so many things.

I found it amusing when someone once told me, "If given a chance, I would want to be just like you". This kept me thinking for days, for I only know about the set of struggles I have dealt with but probably I know to fake "a happy go lucky" air which makes people believe that this girl, out of all can never be sad, nor depressed. She has to be happy.

That's what makes me believe that my life is never going to be easy. I am not one of those people who are vocal about what they feel, rather I take pleasure in my reserve so much so that I often don't realise how painful it becomes at times. But, as I said, I have accepted that life precisely isn't easy for anyone. Probably that is why I don't get easily depressed, and even if I do I constantly try to fight past it.

Today, I have realised something. I can't have the best of two worlds at the same time, there is always something which slips past our hand and that needs acceptance. In the process of having the best of two worlds, we make a mess which is beyond repair.

If I am breathing today, I got to be lucky.

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