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"Stayfree" in "whispers"

There are days when I don't want to be a woman,
No, don't you get confused,
I take pride in who I am.
I take pride in all those abstractions which make me a human
Yet, as I said, there are days...
Days when you spend life like an untouchable.
Separate plates, separate beds, restricted entries, restrictions on what you eat and breathe!
They say I have Brahmin blood,
They say it right perhaps but I smell diplomacy
For I don't see what sets me apart! I don't smell purity
I rarely offer prayers, I sing no hymns
I don't seek God in idols.
When did my realisation found home?, you may ask.
I was 11 when I became a woman.
"Sit like a girl, act like a girl, think like a girl ", that became my birthday jingle .
I had bled one night and I thought I had got hurt
I expected them to take me to a doctor
I was thrown into a dark room instead
" Don't look at males ", pronounced my granny
" Why? ", my voice echoed
Because you no more are a girl, you are a woman!
When did I become one? , a voice in my head wanted to know.
For my limbs hadn't grown overnight, nor had I incurred any special sign!
I didn't know that my body parts carried shame.
Mounds of flesh needed to be hidden under layers
Boys no more fitted as team mates
Adventures suddenly found no room.
I felt I was cursed, cursed to be a woman!
As I outgrew my sleeves, I couldn't outgrow my shame
I always had a lurking fear that
Peering gazes would rip me as I crossed streets
I had to be careful, careful enough to avoid mistakes
I couldn't be at temples, couldn't be at rituals
I was an untouchable and so were the rest who bled
"Stayfree" came home in "whispers"
Freedom, life's greatest irony.
Yet, I saw hoardings which celebrated womanhood.
There were slogans which glorified motherhood.
And yet, there you would find a girl in every street
Holding her breath in terror as she crosses streets,
If this is what takes it to be a woman,
I don't want to be one.
I don't want to be glorified
I don't want anything that sets me apart as a woman
If I want anything for me or girls around me
Is to bleed in peace
To live in peace
For this isn't what restricts us as woman
We didn't choose it, rather it chose us.

And...

My "Stayfree" no longer comes in "whispers"!

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