Skip to main content

Tape a tale

She felt the world had dropped dead, there was an unexplainable pain in her lower belly. She gasped as she felt the pangs of pain which throbbed her heart. She wailed for help and lost consciousness. They rushed her to the hospital, her water had broke, she was to deliver a child. Her life was going to change, she had longed to hold her baby in her arms for the last eight months, she finally was going to be a mother. The thought had filled her each day with immense pleasure.

Moments of reflection coupled by hours of pain was more painful than death, she felt like she were dead but she couldn't give in, the doctor's words reached her ears, "Fight for your baby, try a little more", he said. She put all the energy she had and finally the baby popped out of her womb. She felt dead and alive at the same time. She bit back her lower lip, and lay still as she heard hushed tones. She was in a trance, she couldn't make out what was going on. She lay there until the thought striked, where was her little one?

Her world came tumbling down when she saw the still born, the baby girl had her eyes and her smile but God had tricked her, her hopes and faith received a major jolt. Her life lacked meaning. A cheerful person in her was dead as log.

She tried to fight back her tears each morning when she tried to run her fingers over her belly which no longer thrived with life. Everything was becoming unbearable. Her husband and her family tried to comfort her but no one could heal her wounds which she only was aware of.

She slowly gave away to a routine life but she was simply existing, she had stopped living. Her neighbour who was an acquaintance of her's became a mother, she gulped down her pain and went to see the baby with some gifts. There for the first time, she received a major blow. They didn't allow her to touch the baby, they feared she would bring bad luck. She could no longer hold back her tears, she ran home and hugged her pillow. She was hurt, something within her rang hollow.

It was after two years when she found herself pregnant again, this time she had her fears. She took extra care to keep herself safe, people around her tried their level best. Each passing day gave her new hopes which she had burried long back. Finally the day came when she gave birth to a baby girl, she refused to blink her eyes when she saw her little one cry. She kept looking at her while tears ran down her eyes. An angel had come to heal her pain, was what she thought.

She kept looking at the child for the whole night, she caressed her little hands, ran her fingers over her head. Overnight her life had changed, her prayers had been rewarded. She had become a mother.

It's been decades to the day when she had become a mother but whenever she narrates about this event, her eyes twinkle. Her girl who is no more a little one understands the pain that her mother had to undergo to gift her life and she would often ask her mother whether it was worth the pain to bring her to this world? And each time her mother would smile back and say, "For you a thousand times over".

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Grandpa and me

I am the eldest grandchild in my family. And being the eldest, I was pampered a great deal by my grandparents. My aama (grandma) and baa (grandpa) always shielded me from every possible dangers including thrashings from maa. I have pleasant memories of evening story sessions as grandpa took me to bed. Aama would oil my hair and tie pony tails which resembled coconut trees that I used to draw. Sundays meant elaborate sessions with my grandparents. Baa would trim my nails, aama would fondle me to sleep. Their bed room was literally my playing room, my story book reading room, my painting room and what not. With time, as I grew, I got a room of my own but their room was still my favourite one. When I left for hostel, I missed them more than I missed my parents.  It was in the year 2014, I had come home after my exams when aama received a pressure stroke . She couldn't make it. I had spent a month as he lay sick on her bed. All of a sudden, there was a role reversal. I could

Life on wheels

The one thing that I always had dreamt of as a kid was to have a caravan that could take me to places.I always wanted a gypsy styled life. The idea itself mesmerized me to the extent that I kept dreaming of it the whole time not even realising how it was time which kept on rolling but I stood exactly at the same place, my dreams could never concretize. What was laughed at as a childish game was so important to me that I keep doodling it in my memory till now. I see a meadow, lush green with those small daffodils growing by, perhaps Wordsworth's daffodils! Then I see a girl, her wild unkept hair sailing in the gentle breeze. She has a smile which speaks of solitude, and her heart , well that's swelling with happiness as he looks at her caravan, after all she finally has a life on wheels. What more could she wish for, what more  can anyone wish for? It's not always that we get to live a life we conceived as a kid, life keeps on deciding our track. From what we liked doing

"My love is enough for both of us"

"My love is enough for both of us", she often felt those words ring in her heart. She finally had understood that life wouldn't always follow her designs. That people are meant to leave but their memories won't. She often had wondered how someone could love her to such an extent when that person had always known that she wouldn't reciprocate those feelings. How could a person stand by her when she always acted as a fleeting shadow. She never had given hope for she knew the pain of dejection but he kept hoping like a hopeless vagabond. How she wished that he would some day hate her enough to let go. She devised ways to free him from this web, she acted cold, turned indifferent, did everything he detested and she finally saw some changes. It was a relief, he finally seemed to take hold of his life. She could see him grow responsible. He finally it seemed was learning to love himself. Phone calls died, meetings subsided, they become known strangers. All this while