Another morning without you by my side,
Another silent night slips by.
And in between days and months and rolling years,
I struggle between what to hold and what to let go.
When did things go dim ?
When did I stop listening my heart ring?
Well, enough of those blame games
Enough of towering promises
All in the sand, all in the sea; I see it pass.
Yet, did I cease existing?
Who cares right?
I was existing like the smog that blinds,
Like the whirl of a tempest yet calm from outside.
But, who cares right?
All that they wanted to know was how bad it felt
Was it a filthy sore or could my heart still melt
Between what remain unasked and what remained unsaid
I tore my heart open and she saw how it bled,
But no more did she felt the pain.
No more did it matter.
She had nothing to listen I had everything to tell
Well, but who cares right?
As long as I act smart and fool the world,
I would be left to my own.
So, I decided to turn the rules of the game.
I sew my heart, it no more bled.
I gulped my pain and the world had nothing to gain.
But you see, I didn't even care to find, "who cares?"
All that it mattered was I cared and I still do.
I wrote my rules, I fixed the game
As long as I play it, I win even when I fail.
No more do mornings depress me,
No more does the darkness of the night suffocate me
I am more myself than I ever was
I am more happy to wear my own skin.
"My love is enough for both of us", she often felt those words ring in her heart. She finally had understood that life wouldn't always follow her designs. That people are meant to leave but their memories won't. She often had wondered how someone could love her to such an extent when that person had always known that she wouldn't reciprocate those feelings. How could a person stand by her when she always acted as a fleeting shadow. She never had given hope for she knew the pain of dejection but he kept hoping like a hopeless vagabond. How she wished that he would some day hate her enough to let go. She devised ways to free him from this web, she acted cold, turned indifferent, did everything he detested and she finally saw some changes. It was a relief, he finally seemed to take hold of his life. She could see him grow responsible. He finally it seemed was learning to love himself. Phone calls died, meetings subsided, they become known strangers. All this while ...
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