Skip to main content

Blurred thoughts

If I were ever given a chance to set something from the past right, I always wonder what it would be!

Life deceives our designs, we may try to act smart but do we get to change everything which we think we can.

As we grow, we grow in terms of experiences which later remain with us in the form of memories and we carefully try to keep the good memories and try to obliterate the bitter ones. But, the rotten stench of bitter events no matter how well layered never completely allow us to be what we think we can be. There are like thousand voices playing and replaying bits of distorted events in our head, you can hush those voices but they always find ways to resurface.

As I hug my coffee mug and let it's aroma linger in my memory, I see it all. My life slowly slipping away from my hands in the form of days that gave away to months, months that turned into years and years altogether boasting of a life which has layered my past. There are so many things that I want to set right, if only I knew which weighed the most. But, no matter how many chances I am given, would I be able to set everything alright?

No matter how much I try or think about it but I have no control left over that part of life which has taken shape as a story and stories once born, never die.
Here I stand, recollecting those fond memories of bygone days when my heavy school bag wasn't heavy enough to pull down my spirit , the odd stump of crayons were enough to colour my dreams, broken pencils could always be made useful and uniforms had pride attached. But, when did I actually stop relating to these stuff, I don't even remember.

While life continues to roll in its jittery sway, I still am to figure out everything that life can hold.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sea (ii)

"I want to see a setting sun", I told him as we sat in the shack looking at the bright sun gleaming over the waves. "Sure, let's not move anywhere", he readily jumped over the idea. We talked about everything that we had anticipated all along, this trip, our future together, family back home as we nonchalantly waited for the sun to set. It was only when the waiter brought a lamp to our side when I noticed that we had missed the whole idea of viewing the sunset! "Phew! I don't see the sun", I yelled out alarmed "laa", I heard him say. " Well, isn't it good that we can again come back tomorrow and sit in the same spot waiting for the sun to set", he remarked. Well, this is what I like about him. His ability to look at the positive side of life. Well, if not a sunset, we saw a pale moon's silvery gleam over those tall waves. We laughed and talked over endless cups of tea and food. While it was time to leave the shore, we di...

Home in the mountains

 The tiny mountain lights showed me home, Home: a fluid entity which marks no land. I opened my palms to feel the chill and yet I felt it's warmth in the way it held my gaze Unfaltering, of a different magnitude. I don't belong to the hills and yet A part of me was always here waiting, For me to claim my roots. And thus those lights,led me   home.

Sea - (i)

 We sat overlooking the endless foamy sea from the wooden shack that had become our favourite spot. The vastness of the sea left us numb, yet we managed to mumble all the while tasting the salt peppery breath of the sea against our face. "I had never been so much at ease", I heard him close. I nodded, unable to put how I was feeling right at that moment sitting beside him facing the sea to myself.  He played with the loose hair strands that the wind blew to my face. I let him. I was never so comfortable around any guy but with him everything was easy, as easy as breathing! He was getting tipsy from the beer cans and I was high on the ambience that the setting sun was promising us of. He looked as peaceful as a kid. These many months of knowing him had made me see the good that the world possessed of. I clutched his hands assuring him of my presence. He smiled his usual smile, the one that brightened up his calm face. A faint chord of a guitar, odd excerpts of foreign tongues,...