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Speaking my mind

People that I am closely acquainted with always complain about my reluctance while it comes to revealing what runs across my thought process. Well, I have always been wowed by people who easily can speak out their mind but every time I try to do that, words get frozen. It's not that I don't trust people, it's just that I have been always like this. I grew up confiding in me, I was solely responsible where I could take myself. There was no room for relying on anyone. My mind was solely to be guarded by me.

And after decades, when I suddenly come across people who try to understand my inner core, my mind gets alarmed. It sends alarm signals asking me to not be so vulnerable and in one fleeting second, I surrendered to changes. The baggage had become too heavy to carry. I thought I too deserved to be heard, to be understood. That within me, lived another self reluctant to make an appearance.

Today, as I write this my inner soul has once again taken its slumber. It no longer wants to be heard or understood. It will survive existential crisis well, born out of years of experience but between then and now, I am happy that I lived

Well each day I will try to wake it out of slumber and fetch some words.

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